Divorced dads are some of the best picks out there in the dating pool. They often have an edge over the younger, less-experienced men. Divorced dads are seen to be more mature and responsible. Having been married, they know the whole deal about falling in love and making a life with their wives. And having kids, they would probably know to think beyond themselves. They show their kids utmost care, tenderness, and importance. You might not believe your luck in finding such men.
Then again, dealing with all that potential baggage might not be everyone’s cup of tea – even when all you’re talking about is a nice conversation over a cup of coffee. But when a significant percentage of marriages end up in divorce, your chances of meeting an interesting and attractive guy who happens to have had a marriage and a couple of kids are very likely. What will you do, especially if the guy is someone you really like?
Here are some tips:
Be open for changes
A divorced dad’s world is most probably a world of chaos. He would be juggling work, home chores, the kids, the ex, and you. Hopefully that’s as far as the list goes. Don’t be surprised if there’s more. Time with you may then seem not enough. And as the new woman on the block, it’s not like you can demand for more. You need to psych yourself up for this so you’re prepared. Be flexible. Value the quality of time spent together rather than the quantity.
A divorced dad will always have kids who need him to be at their beck and call – for school presentations, sick days, trips to the park, or the new gaming console they want. Children will remain the top priority of a responsible dad, divorced or not. This is a good thing, really. At least, you know your guy is responsible and does not disregard his children. While other men can have less complicated lives, if your guy is worth it, then he’s worth some flexibility.
Think of yourself too
While your divorced guy is turning cartwheels for his kids and other concerns, don’t let him forget that you need his time too. This does not mean that you should be the over-demanding girlfriend. Just know that you also deserve quality time every now and then.
Likewise, don’t go turning yourself into his kids’ surrogate mom. This is not the way to spend time with him, especially if you are not ready for such a big step. Meeting his kids can be a huge ordeal – not just for you, but for the kids too. Learn to take space and keep a centered sense of self.