Wherever you end up meeting someone interesting – be it at the gym, in a line, at a Jewish dating or Christian dating agency, online, or anywhere else – you always need to have that little bit of confidence to come up to them and ask them out. Dates don’t happen out of the blue. One of you will have to come up to the other and speak the magic words: “Would you like to have dinner or coffee with me some time?”
Getting those twelve words out isn’t as simple as it seems. It can actually be excruciating, tummy turning, and gut wrenching, all at the same time. How do you start? How do you ask someone out? Note these four important factors:
Timing
While waiting in line at a coffee shop is great timing. While waiting in line at a coffee shop as your prospective date berates a hapless barista is not.
While loading up on water at the gym is great timing. In the middle of grunt-riddled chest presses is not.
Asking someone out is like a game where risks are involved. He or she can either say yes or no; fifty-fifty chances, even if you factor in the “maybe”. And, as in all games, timing is essential. Teams have been defeated because of ill-timing. Likewise, that underdog football team of yours has won games because of perfect timing. Know when to muster enough guts to get the words out. Timing gets half the work done. Good timing means that your prospective date may be receptive to giving you a chance.
Comfort
The comfort level when you ask is also important. Your prospective date must be at ease enough with you and with the environment. Don’t come up to your prospect decked in a suit, atop a white limo and with a bouquet of roses on your arm. That’s Hollywood movie spectacular and all but in real life, something like it might just freak out that person you’re interested in.
Keep things casual and imply that there is no pressure to say yes. In the end, getting that date depends on the other person’s interest in you. And you can’t really win them all – sometimes you’re just not their type. Prepare yourself for rejection and take things in stride.
Signals
Lastly, be aware of the signals being sent to you by a potential date. Is he or she really interested or not? Getting the wrong signals can definitely lead to a dating disaster.