Divorce can drain the life out of anyone. It is a grueling experience for anyone, and everyone involved. The aftermath usually takes a long time to get used to – new arrangements, new routines, and perhaps new terms regarding the kids.
Aside from getting used to a new life, a divorce “survivor” usually has a lot of personal tasks ahead of him or her. There is emotional recovery, for one. Then perhaps some demons will have to be faced. At the same time, self-esteem may go through a major beating when going through divorce. All this takes time – and only after this time should the survivor get out there again to date and maybe search for a life partner.
After this time, a divorce survivor should make sure he or she is ready for the crazy world of dating. Here three most important factors to watch out for:
- Me: Looking after the “ME” is easier said than done. After years in a marriage, it is hard to get back on one’s feet alone. But it is a requisite to moving on and moving forward. A ready divorce survivor should be able to look at the “me” and say, “Hey, I am enjoying this new life by myself.” Once you are comfortable being by yourself, then maybe you can start dating. As it is, dating can be a lot of fun. Besides, when you date, there is no pressure on you to take someone in right away. Enjoy this time alone to meet new people and perhaps make new friends.
- My Self: After a divorce, the “self” can come out bruised but hopefully, not permanently damaged. It takes time to rearrange one’s life and put order back in one’s world. But then, it is a necessary process – that is, to regain a sense of self. And the self revolves around a lot of things, like work, family, good friends, and financial stability. A survivor should get these in order before anything else.
- I: The I always comes back into the vocabulary of a divorce survivor once he or she is ready. When in the married past, it will always be a We, as in the kids and I or my spouse and I. Regaining the I often signals that one’s ego is back in place and is being nurtured back to health. And in dating, the ego is ever important, especially if you’ll have to deal with the prince and princesses and the monsters of the dating world.