Speed dating is the latest time-saving trend, much like what computers did for typewriters. With speed dating, you can shorten an entire evening to just ten minutes tops. The logic here is that you supposedly would know whether or not you click with your date in just ten minutes. Why waste an entire evening and blow off good money with someone you don’t really like that way, right?

With speed dating, you get to meet a lot more people in a short span of time. Dating is done in a round robin fashion. You usually get ten minutes only, until you’re off to the next. As you go through your dates, remember that the crucial part here is making a good impression. It is not important to agree on all matters in just ten minutes – that’s quite impossible to achieve. However, you can try to chat up and have a good quick conversation. Even in small talk, you will know right away which person jives with your personality.

At the end of the night, the people you’re interested in will be given your contact information. You will also receive the numbers of people interested in you. From there, it’s all up to you and your prospective “real” dates.

If you find yourself in a speed dating session, there are important parts of your whole “ensemble” that you shouldn’t forget. Keep these in mind and you will surely be a hit.

A smile

A smile is probably the most important thing to wear on speed dating night. You can forget your suits, haute couture bags, and everything else but don’t forget to smile.

A smile can ease your ten-minute date along. You don’t really get that much time to figure each other out, right? If you want to make a strong and quick impact – and leave the best impression – start your date with a smile. The rest will follow. Besides, if the smile won’t get them, it can still give you this sense of fun and happiness.

A killer suit

Yes, the clothes don’t make the man (or woman) but they do make an impression. Get your date to take notice quickly. But take note that a good suit does not only mean your clothes. Nothing turns off people more than a sloppy dresser, with unkempt hair and a grubby face. Try to be presentable to your dates.

Be comfortable with your self

The jitters of first dates, even when it’s just for ten minutes, can compromise even the best and most experienced daters. A great way to ease this is to wear something that you feel comfortable with – or, better yet, be relaxed and take comfort in the fact that all of you are experiencing these jitters. Let the night unfold unto itself. You’d do well, whatever the outcome is.

A good date with someone you are beginning to like can end up with you two locking lips. That’s ideally a wonderful experience and a great date ender. However, what if your date ends up being a bad kisser? Does it spell the end of this dating bliss? Should it affect the fact that you are beginning to like this person?

For those with this dilemma, don’t be too disappointed. A bad kiss is not a hopeless case. Take these three steps to surely turn a bad kiss into an amazing one.

Think

What was it about the kiss that you didn’t like? Was there too much tongue action? Did you taste dinnertime’s onions and garlic? Did your lips come out all sloppy and wet after? Or did you feel like the kiss was as fast as a gecko’s tongue? Examining what felt wrong about the kiss is always a good start. How else can you two work on it if you can’t figure out what felt wrong?

Everyone has different standards of a good kiss. What feels good to you may not always be what your partner looks for. People have different tastes – and this is not limited to cuisines, music, clothing, and what have you. This also pertains to personal interactions such as the kiss.

In this sense, it may not just be a case of your partner disappointing you. You may also be thought of as ‘not so good’ in the lip-locking department. In some ways, it can be that the characteristics being shown to you in the kiss is a way for your partner to communicate what he or she wants. For example, if the kiss was too much on the rough side, maybe your partner likes passionate devil-may-care kisses. If the kiss was too wet, perhaps your partner is telling you that yours is too dry. It could be a lot of things, really. And first kisses can be awkward especially because you and your partner may have different expectations. Even so, it is not a hopeless situation. Just think things through first. Then comes the next step.

Say

Don’t expect your date to be a mind reader. If the kiss wasn’t so good, tell him or her about it; and tell your date what you like. As in every situation or problem, communication can be a great help – if not the solution, in itself. At the same time, ask your date how they’d like to be kissed. Understanding and compromise can start here – as well as better kissing.

Do

If you’re done talking or would rather show what you prefer through non-verbal means, then by all means, do. Show your date what you want and if he or she is sensitive enough to you, your date will get it.

Divorce can drain the life out of anyone. It is a grueling experience for anyone, and everyone involved. The aftermath usually takes a long time to get used to – new arrangements, new routines, and perhaps new terms regarding the kids.

Aside from getting used to a new life, a divorce “survivor” usually has a lot of personal tasks ahead of him or her. There is emotional recovery, for one. Then perhaps some demons will have to be faced. At the same time, self-esteem may go through a major beating when going through divorce. All this takes time – and only after this time should the survivor get out there again to date and maybe search for a life partner.

After this time, a divorce survivor should make sure he or she is ready for the crazy world of dating. Here three most important factors to watch out for:

1. Me: Looking after the “ME” is easier said than done. After years in a marriage, it is hard to get back on one’s feet alone. But it is a requisite to moving on and moving forward. A ready divorce survivor should be able to look at the “me” and say, “Hey, I am enjoying this new life by myself.” Once you are comfortable being by yourself, then maybe you can start dating. As it is, dating can be a lot of fun. Besides, when you date, there is no pressure on you to take someone in right away. Enjoy this time alone to meet new people and perhaps make new friends.
2. My Self: After a divorce, the “self” can come out bruised but hopefully, not permanently damaged. It takes time to rearrange one’s life and put order back in one’s world. But then, it is a necessary process – that is, to regain a sense of self. And the self revolves around a lot of things, like work, family, good friends, and financial stability. A survivor should get these in order before anything else.
3. I: The I always comes back into the vocabulary of a divorce survivor once he or she is ready. When in the married past, it will always be a We, as in the kids and I or my spouse and I. Regaining the I often signals that one’s ego is back in place and is being nurtured back to health. And in dating, the ego is ever important, especially if you’ll have to deal with the prince and princesses and the monsters of the dating world.

Women can be hard to read sometimes. You can be left on edge, unsure whether she likes you or not. Likewise, you may be left clueless when it comes to the next step. What should be the next move? What can she be expecting?

Good thing there are sure-fire ways in catching the attention of your dream girl. And no, these do not involve you spending extravagantly on a grand dinner and night out. These tips do not have to cost a thing.

PAY attention

Some guys like to play it cool, thinking that the “bad boy” image will get their girl to notice them. While this will work on some women, most prefer to get down to reality. Most women want a guy who’s interested in them, not just physically, but emotionally and intellectually as well. You can only show this through sincere interaction with your dream girl. Talk to her. Ask her to tell you her stories and be really interested.

This means you have to listen, not just hear. It is obvious if a guy just hears what the woman says but not really listen. A listening guy will have follow-up questions. This guy will comment and will be sympathetic. This guy will lean in attentively, and will respond verbally and through his expressions.

INVEST in yourself

Take it from Barney of “How I Met Your Mother.” Suit up! And no, you don’t really have to look as dapper and rich as Barney. Be yourself and wear comfortable clothes that fit the occasion. But, you have to make yourself presentable. Take the time to look your best. After all, you are on a date and not on a night out with your best buds. You need to look good for your dream girl.

SPEND time

You may be able to easily spend money on someone or lavish them with gifts. But in fact, the most appreciated and probably hardest to give is time. With so much to do in this fast-paced world, you muster as much time as you can on a lot of chores and duties. That’s alright. That’s understandable. But when it comes to impressing the girl of your dreams, you need to spend time with her – quality time. Don’t be in a hurry when you are on a date with her. Relish the food, ambience, and the fact that you are with her. Don’t rush her into anything either. Time allows you to get to know each other better.

An important aspect in dating is reading body language. Your date may not be revealing everything to you straight away. It’s natural to have some sort of heart armor, especially when you’ve dated a lot of people. But body language may be showing a lot. It is important not to miss these small signals, signals that can give you clues whether you click or not.

Pay attention from head to toe

To start reading body language, paying attention is necessary. Notice your date, from head to toe, but not lasciviously, of course. The body is a dead giveaway if you are trying to decipher your date’s level of interest.

The face

When you zoom in on your date’s face, try not to get distracted with his or her looks. Instead, look into your date’s eyes. Are they focused on you or are they darting here and there checking out other people at the place? Do they sparkle with genuine interest or do they have the dull “whatever” look? The eyes, they say, are the windows to the soul. They are also the front-page headline when reading your date. Note what you see; they will tell you if your date’s into you or not.

Notice the smile too. The smile speaks of one’s receptivity to what is being shared. The smile also lets you know that your date is having a good time. Poker faces have no place in dates; dating not a game that way. At the same time, sneering may leave you feeling that you’re better off having dinner alone, or worse, skipping town. Sneers are no-nos. Strongly doubt dates who manage to sneer through the night’s wonderful dinner.

The torso

You may not see their feet but your date’s torso will show you if they are moving towards you or are close to running out the door. An interested date will likely lean in, not out. They would bring their bodies closer, perhaps move forward so they can hear your every word better.

The limbs

The hands will specifically show you where you are in your date. If the hands and arms are open, then your date is likely receptive towards you and what you have to share. Folded hands mean the opposite, while fidgety hands can indicate nervousness.

A date is always like a dance. One leads, and the other follows. In the next chorus, the other one takes his or her turn to lead. They look in each other’s eyes and follow the sways of each beat. They laugh, nuzzle each other tenderly – another perfect dance together.

However, it’s pretty sure that things aren’t always like that. First dances, like first dates, are about taking tentative steps. Each person is unsure of the other. Each one may fumble and trip over. Each one may step on the partner’s toes every now and then. But still, first dances and first dates can be fun.

With first dates though, the fumble and tripping may mean no second, third, or fourth date. It can be disastrous, especially if you happen to really like your date. Here are some tips to help avoid these dating traps:

Do the tango

Tango is one of the most sensual dances ever – and tango always takes two. You simply cannot pivot or turn without a partner in your arms.

Having said that, first dates are intros to tangos wherein each partner puts forth this two-way vibe. Talk should be two way. Sharing should be two way. Don’t get so overly excited to share yourself and your gazillion stories. There will be time for that. Listen to his or her stories too and let your date open up.

Don’t do the threesome cha-cha

Dates are made for two, not three. Dates can feel like an overcrowded threesome if you bring issues and stories about your ex on the table. This goes the same if you riddle the night with stories about your best friend, your mom, or anyone else. Make the night be about you and your date – and not everyone else.

Slow dance together

Linger in this moment with your date. Be theirs and theirs alone for tonight. Pay attention. A shifty inattentive gaze can spell disaster. There might not be more dates to come. So, move in as if your world has fused with theirs. Be interested in what they have to say. Move with their body language. And take your time to get to know each other.

Hip hop promptly into their arms

Simply said, be on time. Get your groove on fast and be in the assigned date venue at a prompt time. Promptness is a basic measure of consideration for someone’s time. Surely, your date deserves someone who values his or her time.

Dating can be the waterloo of many good men and women – when in fact it shouldn’t be. Why have this one thing stop you from having long-lasting and loving relationships? However, yes, it can be such a grueling thing to do, to go through several lemons to find your gem. If only that last speed dating meet-up through a dating agency included that special someone …

Like it or not, dating is a necessary journey. It’s what you have to do to find someone you can settle down and enjoy the rest of your life with. You may also find treasures who will later on become your friends, lovers, or even your life partner.

Sometimes though, in taking this journey, you stumble. You can make some mistakes that can damage your chances, or even impede a blossoming relationship. Check out the list of dating personalities below. Are you becoming one of them? If you are, then this is your wake up call. Don’t make the dating mistakes these personalities are making.

Mr. and Ms. Wall

Mr. and Ms. Wall don’t say much about themselves. They may talk about trivial stuff like how good the potato salad is or something like that. But rarely would you get a glimpse of who they are – and maybe, rarely would you want a second date with a Mr. or Ms. Wall. The point in dating is getting to know each other, right? If dates freeze into walls and refuse to reveal anything about themselves, then it makes the date futile.

An open communication is always important in relationships, even in budding relationships. How many times have you heard of couples breaking up because they seem to share nothing in common? Likewise, how often do you hear about couples stalling relationships because they seem to have nothing else to talk about?

Talking is a way to share yourself. It can be about the smallest things, like the joys of walking in the rain or that wonderful soup you made the night before. Even the simplest of information can reveal sides of you that endear yourself to your date.

Mr. and Ms. Expectant

You may have gone to dates or have had relationships but a Mr. or Ms. Expectant seem to think you can all act like his or her last perfect date. To save you time, tell this date that you’re made of different stuff. A Mr. or Ms. Expectant shouldn’t be expecting their dates to conform to their ideals.

Mr. and Ms. Non-Truster

Likewise, you may have been bruised by bad relationships or date experiences. This is no reason for anyone to completely shut off a perfectly good date or person. Some trust is required if you are to enjoy a night out with a date.

Mr. and Ms. Reckless

Reckless dates are those who often go right into a steady relationship without really thinking if they or their partners are really ready for it. Going on a date is for you and your partner to know more about each other and to see if the date leads to something more serious. If you have made this mistake before, slow down and take into consideration yours and your partner’s maturity level and feelings.

Wherever you end up meeting someone interesting – be it at the gym, in a line, at a Jewish dating or Christian dating agency, online, or anywhere else – you always need to have that little bit of confidence to come up to them and ask them out. Dates don’t happen out of the blue. One of you will have to come up to the other and speak the magic words: “Would you like to have dinner or coffee with me some time?”

Getting those twelve words out isn’t as simple as it seems. It can actually be excruciating, tummy turning, and gut wrenching, all at the same time. How do you start? How do you ask someone out? Note these four important factors:

Timing

While waiting in line at a coffee shop is great timing. While waiting in line at a coffee shop as your prospective date berates a hapless barista is not.

While loading up on water at the gym is great timing. In the middle of grunt-riddled chest presses is not.

Asking someone out is like a game where risks are involved. He or she can either say yes or no; fifty-fifty chances, even if you factor in the “maybe”. And, as in all games, timing is essential. Teams have been defeated because of ill-timing. Likewise, that underdog football team of yours has won games because of perfect timing. Know when to muster enough guts to get the words out. Timing gets half the work done. Good timing means that your prospective date may be receptive to giving you a chance.

Comfort

The comfort level when you ask is also important. Your prospective date must be at ease enough with you and with the environment. Don’t come up to your prospect decked in a suit, atop a white limo and with a bouquet of roses on your arm. That’s Hollywood movie spectacular and all but in real life, something like it might just freak out that person you’re interested in.

Keep things casual and imply that there is no pressure to say yes. In the end, getting that date depends on the other person’s interest in you. And you can’t really win them all – sometimes you’re just not their type. Prepare yourself for rejection and take things in stride.

Signals

Lastly, be aware of the signals being sent to you by a potential date. Is he or she really interested or not? Getting the wrong signals can definitely lead to a dating disaster.